Times never easy more often really hard

I've gotten bumps and bruises

Where the pain once was, I now carry scars.

Abused as a child by one I should trust

Never allowed to go out, laugh and play

Held against my will chores to be done

School and home is where I spent my days.

Escape I thought possible

A young lady I became carrying a baby

This was my key to freedom

I hoped, I thought, just maybe...

I moved away packed my things

took my daughter and was gone

Sixteen year old young woman

Suddenly I was on my own.

I became involved and fell

fell for a man I thought this was love

He beat me physically and emotionally

It was nothing I had dreamed of.

Relationship after relationship

I seem to have gotten nowhere

I know God was with me

but I was lost elsewhere.

Adult entertainment and drugs

became my driving force

Where did this come from?

The devil was the source.

My children I lost

The state took them away

But along this road

for awhile I would stay.

God decided to get my attention

He wanted me back

There I sat in jail

32 days I spent on my rack

A crime I did not commit

yet time I would pay

God wanted me there

to keep the demons away.

Lonely and cold

I thought I was forgot

But God came to me

and showed me I was not.

Soon my freedom came

but with a price to pay

I came back home

and everyday I would pray.

Eight years I spent

In a relationship I thought was love

Once again my eyes were open

From Him up above.

I wanted more out of this

A picture perfect life

I packed my things again

This once wouldn't make me his wife.

Moving on for the better

looking out for only me

I met the man of my dreams

This I felt was truly meant to be

Friends at first we dated

then we were engaged

My life had turned around

no more hate, no more rage

He knew how I felt

and soon we were wed

A happiness at last

no more tears to be shed.

Then I walked into your church

and as I walked through the door

Nothing but love to be felt

as my feet touched the floor.

Church and fellowship

life was starting to be complete

Welcome to this new family

Oh the people I would meet.

God opened my ears

and clearly I heard what He said

Growing spiritually I became

Hungry, eager to be fed.

Then the past

rushed into my face

Just a reminder

life isn't all ruffles and lace.

A brother in the church

shared with me his sin

I was like his victim

Then God opened my eyes again.

We sat and talked

this man I would not judge

This was God's way

of helping me let go of a grudge.

A new found friendship

annointed in the blood of the Lamb

I was able to share my story

and speak of who I am.

Blessings poured upon me

all those years I was a fool

God brought my children back

and even put me through school.

Blessing after blessing

reaping what I've sown

Love surrounding me

My church family helping me grow.

God gave me a fork

A fork in my road

I believe I've chosen the right one

This in my heart I am told.

No more addiction

from Meth I am recovered

This is only the beginning

the rest of my life is yet to be discovered.

~Brandy Toler 3/1/2012