For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
Jeremiah 29:11
I've walked a long lonely road
Times never easy more often really hard
I've gotten bumps and bruises
Where the pain once was, I now carry scars.
Abused as a child by one I should trust
Never allowed to go out, laugh and play
Held against my will chores to be done
School and home is where I spent my days.
Escape I thought possible
A young lady I became carrying a baby
This was my key to freedom
I hoped, I thought, just maybe...
I moved away packed my things
took my daughter and was gone
Sixteen year old young woman
Suddenly I was on my own.
I became involved and fell
fell for a man I thought this was love
He beat me physically and emotionally
It was nothing I had dreamed of.
Relationship after relationship
I seem to have gotten nowhere
I know God was with me
but I was lost elsewhere.
Adult entertainment and drugs
became my driving force
Where did this come from?
The devil was the source.
My children I lost
The state took them away
But along this road
for awhile I would stay.
God decided to get my attention
He wanted me back
There I sat in jail
32 days I spent on my rack
A crime I did not commit
yet time I would pay
God wanted me there
to keep the demons away.
Lonely and cold
I thought I was forgot
But God came to me
and showed me I was not.
Soon my freedom came
but with a price to pay
I came back home
and everyday I would pray.
Eight years I spent
In a relationship I thought was love
Once again my eyes were open
From Him up above.
I wanted more out of this
A picture perfect life
I packed my things again
This once wouldn't make me his wife.
Moving on for the better
looking out for only me
I met the man of my dreams
This I felt was truly meant to be
Friends at first we dated
then we were engaged
My life had turned around
no more hate, no more rage
He knew how I felt
and soon we were wed
A happiness at last
no more tears to be shed.
Then I walked into your church
and as I walked through the door
Nothing but love to be felt
as my feet touched the floor.
Church and fellowship
life was starting to be complete
Welcome to this new family
Oh the people I would meet.
God opened my ears
and clearly I heard what He said
Growing spiritually I became
Hungry, eager to be fed.
Then the past
rushed into my face
Just a reminder
life isn't all ruffles and lace.
A brother in the church
shared with me his sin
I was like his victim
Then God opened my eyes again.
We sat and talked
this man I would not judge
This was God's way
of helping me let go of a grudge.
A new found friendship
annointed in the blood of the Lamb
I was able to share my story
and speak of who I am.
Blessings poured upon me
all those years I was a fool
God brought my children back
and even put me through school.
Blessing after blessing
reaping what I've sown
Love surrounding me
My church family helping me grow.
God gave me a fork
A fork in my road
I believe I've chosen the right one
This in my heart I am told.
No more addiction
from Meth I am recovered
This is only the beginning
the rest of my life is yet to be discovered.
~Brandy Toler 3/1/2012
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